So, i’m having a crisis of identity

Maybe not identity… but i’m 39 years old, i’ve spent the last ..4-5 years in steadfast battle against middle aged spread. I’ve been determined to fight it…

But lately, man its hard.  After 20 years of Martial arts i finally retired last year.  I’ve developed arthritis and have now chronic back injuries, but i loved it, teaching and training was gold for me…. i’ve backed off…started ‘managing’ myself… But i don’t like what i see in the mirror, in fact i dispair

I look at the feats of Ben Kepes, Dan Fowlie George Reese and Chris Quin who post their running times distances and think…. 21km?  Dude drive!!!

Ben Christian, another friend recently biked the tour De France and does a cycle training session 5 days a week!!  Who’s got time for that!!!

I’ve ‘decided’ not to  run because of the arthritis.. i try to get to the gym, however lately the demands of work have severely impacts my ability to get there…. wow-ah’s me…its all hard..

Its not how hard you can hit, its how hard you can be hit and keep going forward”  – A line from whatever was the last ever Rocky movie

My real world martial arts experience says this is true, winners really do this…you can see the moment in any fight when someones breaks, something inside gives up

Feels like i’m being hit hard at the moment…. giving up looks quite attractive, and thats not me at all…